We can make three general statements about modern dating vs. biblical dating in terms of their respective philosophies:
1. Modern dating seems to be about “finding” the right person for me; biblical dating is more about “being” the right person to serve my future spouse’s needs and be a God-glorifying husband or wife.
2. In modern dating, intimacy precedes commitment. In biblical dating, commitment precedes intimacy.
3. The modern dating approach tells us that the way to figure out whether I want to marry someone is to act like we are married. If we like it, we make it official. If we don’t, then we go through something emotionally — and probably physically — like a divorce. In Biblical dating, Scripture guides us as to how to find a mate and marry, and the Bible teaches, among other things, that we should act in such a way so as not to imply a marriage-level commitment until that commitment exists before the Lord.
I’m supremely confident that as we go back and forth, some — perhaps many — of you will disagree (if you don’t already) or be initially annoyed at some of the statements made. Ask yourself why. What are you trying to hold onto that you think this approach will take from you (privacy, autonomy, a secular idea of freedom or of your own rights)?
I have a particular challenge for those of you whose main objection is that the practical details we’ll talk about here “are not explicitly biblical”: think about the details of how you conduct (or would like to conduct) your dating life. Can you find explicit support for the modern approach in Scripture? Are there even broad principles in Scripture that justify the modern vision of dating (or yours, whatever it may be)?
The Bible simply doesn’t give us explicit instructions on some of what we’ll discuss. Fair enough. In such a situation, we should ask what gets us closest to clear biblical teaching. In other words, within the many gray areas here, what conduct in our dating lives will help us to best care for our brothers and sisters in Christ and bring honor to His name?
That’s it. That’s a basic framework for biblical dating as best I can discern it from the principles of God’s Word. Now, you’re on.
No question is too broad or too specific, too theoretical, too theological, or too practical. Agree with what I’ve said, or challenge it. This is how iron sharpens iron.
Just remember one thing: we’re in this together — for His Glory.
Modern Dating Vrs Biblical Dating || Biblical Dating Series
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